That day that the leaves followed me home - you wouldn't know because I never told you (you don't really ask), I thought I might. Yes, we could have. You ruin who you love.

At what point do you have to say enough is enough? It has never been more clear to me - I deserve so much better. I've made a lot of mistakes but I'll give thanks to gods I don't believe in that I didn't give you that. The more I learn about you, the less I like. The lies are beginning to pile up and every word that comes out of your mouth makes my stomach turn and my blood boil. I get sick with the thought of your hands on me, your taste in my mouth. Even still I find myself making excuses on your behalf, but learning to compromise, to respect, to be considerate - they're all things you should have picked up by now. You asked what I see in you, and now I really don't know. Selfishness, mostly. Things make more sense now - it's no wonder they always leave you.

I'll be damned if I waste one more thought on you. You're not worth my trouble, my time, my grief. Go off in the world and screw up your life, sleep with girls that you're incapable of respecting, and then blame everyone else for your problems. I'm done with this, with you.

"what's the meanest you can be to the one you claim to love?"

This hurts me more than it hurts you.
Cliche', but true.
You've always been an asshole but the lying thing is new.

Addicts are all the same. If you think they're friends then I don't want to be included under that title. People who don't have any regard for their own safety aren't gonna lose any sleep over yours. Real friends help you solve your problems, they don't encourage you to develop new ones.

I can't decide if I'm sabotaging myself or fighting for you. Is it that I think you deserve better or that I don't think that I do? Have I really not made myself clear? I find it hard to believe that you don't know what this does to me. Loving you is easy, it's talking to you and being in your presence that's wearing me thin. You're only mine when the rest of the world is asleep, when you're still and warm and just close enough to consciousness to rub your thumb over the back of my hand. I want to get inside you and tear out everything that she said to make you this way. I want to kill her for making you think for one second that you weren't good enough, that you didn't deserve love, that you weren't strong enough to deal with your problems. I want to be a mirror so when you look at me, you can see yourself the way I do. You don't need to be numb, you're strong enough, and when you think you're not I'll be here to help.

It would be so much easier to give up on you but I just can't bring myself to do it.