Have I literally worried myself sick?

I want to cause the biggest scene. I want you to feel as shitty as I do. Worse. I never asked for you to love me, but your lack of respect for me is sickening. I've given too many chances to a boy who didn't deserve one. You made yourself clear but you don't have to be so cruel about it. I can't remember the last time I felt this terrible. I barely ate one meal yesterday. I felt sick all night and woke up with the same uneasy stomach. I don't know if it's because I'm hungry or anxious. Probably both. 

Keep talking, I'm glad that my pathetic personal life is such a hot topic. Keep talking, but remember that I hold a lot of your secrets, too. 

My head is on the chopping block today. Cut it off. At least then I'll get some peace.

I don't even know what to do with myself. I'm so frustrated, embarrassed, and hurt that it feels like my body is just turning itself off. Totally and completely overwhelmed with these feelings of stress and anxiety. I cannot believe the things that I have done. I am so desperate for help right now and I can't talk to anyone about it.

I can't do this anymore. Living like this is exhausting. I just want to go to sleep.

red letter day

Sunday marked the end of my lifelong game of catch-up. Plenty of crying, but not for the reason they warn you about. I see something better in you. I wish that you did too.