Lovers turn into Monsters

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life.

The person who I relied on, cared for, loved, for a year and a half is no longer my partner, my lover, my friend. I have spent so much time being angry and it has made me sour, rotten, like a mold has blackened my insides. Like if I were to fall, break, burst, this plague would be visible inside of me. Where there was once blood and bone, there is now nothing. This blackness has killed every good thing inside of me.

I have done things I'm not proud of. Betrayal makes me lose my mind, but that is not an excuse. I had to know if you were already over this, if you ever loved me at all, if you threw out any reminder of our shared life.

I have my answers now. I'm sick. I'm ruined. But I can live with this.

I can't let this anger consume me anymore. I can't indulge this depression any longer. It is time to move on.

I feel okay in this moment and I have to hold on to that as hard as I can.

If I die please tell everyone that I'm sorry.