For once I want someone to wonder about me the way I do about you. I want someone to think of me when I’m not around.  To wish for me when I’m not there. There is nothing else I can do. I know I should be looking at this as an opportunity for me to really find what I need but I’m so afraid. There was a time when you loved me like I had never known and I wish I could forget that now. I wish I didn’t know what that felt like because I don’t think I’ll ever have it again and that kills me. You’re already gone but you sleep beside me. I feel discarded. I feel abandoned. I feel betrayed. I can’t understand how I can be your boobie,  your snack, your babe, your love and you can just leave me. None of this is pretty or clever or original. I don’t have anyone else to talk to, so I write to myself.